Danny Wood's Blog

Me And Face - Episode 2

2008-09-08T02:49:00.000+01:00

Danny "Kung Fu" Wood Live on The Demzley Show - Part Two

2008-09-04T23:58:00.001+01:00

Me and Face

2008-09-04T23:57:00.001+01:00

Teaching Kung Fu

2008-09-04T02:26:00.003+01:00

I taught a kung fu class of ten tonight. I felt greatly enlightened and I learned a lot. Teaching the classes I'm realising just how knowledgeable my teacher is. I've got a huge amount of respect for him and through this experience it's growing more and more.

He's in China getting woken up at eight in the morning to train for six hours. I hope he'll teach us something from his travels when he gets back.

The whole class buzzes and I watch as people make progress with their moves. I'm a big brother in this domain. I'm an experienced student. I'll be a teacher one day I'm sure. I know I'll love the work.

Danny "Kung Fu" Wood Live on The Demzley Show - Part One

2008-09-04T00:48:00.001+01:00

Tapton Flats

2008-09-04T00:48:00.000+01:00

Deep Thinking

2008-09-04T00:42:00.000+01:00

Pepper Spray Emotions

2008-09-03T01:46:00.004+01:00

Can I sip the memory of you, walking over shards of shattered glass?
Can I climb trees next to the clear stream waters or is there a sign telling me I'm not permitted to do so?
Don't you believe me when I tell you that I love the world?
You shoot me staggered glances that stink of sarcasm and egotism.
The day I fell into that cataclysmal you made it your ambition to say "I told you so."
My attitude was abysmal but you held my hand and lifted me out of that dark hole.
We've said so many harsh words I've forgotten What niceties are.

It's Too Loud

2008-09-03T01:19:00.006+01:00

It's always the same when I get to thinking I'm blocked in. I need to escape. The loud music blares through the walls and into my ears. I put my fingers into my ears but I can still feel the vibrations. I can hear corny actors and hip-hop scores in-between scenes. I pull the blue covers over my head and breathe in my own carbon dioxide for a while.

I throw back the sheets. Grabbing my white trainers, the ones with the little pictures of studio equipment on I prepare myself to go out. I need to live in peace. I can't have this noise polluting my chan. I grab my keys from the small wicker basket.

I'm walking towards the light blue tower block and the thought of walking into the woods again bores me into submitting to the idea of taking a stroll towards Norfolk Park. I take a huge U-turn and head upwards. I feel safe at this hour. Midnight is pretty quiet around here usually.

I walk and I feel the cool air on my face and in my lungs. I reach the field and I can see some of the city lights. I know the view is about to get much better.

I take a seat amidst tall grass and trees. I'm hugging my knees and staring at the many lights that scatter across the city. I love looking down at all these lights but I wouldn't want to be in them I think.

I breathe slowly and calmly and contemplate crying yet I don't feel enough sorrow for that. I settle for deep contemplation and thought, or no thought as is the case as I gaze into the lights and black space. I stand up and pause for a moment before walking off. I think to myself how much I'd like to come here more often.

I stop before I reach the main road and look again at the blanket of orange and white lights. I do chi gung and practise my forms. My body feels fit and alive as I jog down the hill towards my flat. I reckon I've been about an hour although I purposely left my phone in the wicker basket.

I hope Leanne and Racheal are still in the living room. I really feel like chatting now and watching a movie. They aren't there I'll bet. Things always happen like that. It'll be me alone trying to be constructive in the peace of the night. Oh well. I don't mind that.

Leanne's in bed as I walk through the door. I know without looking because I can't hear the blaring surround sound of the television anymore and there are no voices chatting away. Damn.

Travelling Together

2008-09-02T14:17:00.006+01:00

Ever since they'd been on the journey Maria got the feeling that Martain wasn't his usual supportive self. They'd be backpacking for a year and Maria got the feeling that he'd taken her for granted. That's it. He didn't have to try now, she thought. He'd got her now.

She'd considered preparing the flare gun from her rucksack and firing it into his smug face. That'd show the bastard. It always started as a joke to him. He'd be like
"Gary said that he liked your singing. I went, Maria can't sing" he scoffed. Maria glanced at him slowly, not knowing this insult would later creep back into her psyche to play on her mind.

I can't sing? Can't sing? I've been in a band and I can't sing? She felt like wrapping the laces from her size five boots around his red sunburned throat and throwing him off the nearest building. Right now he was walking by her side thinking about whatever he thought about in his quiet moments, probably fuel prices or Bon Jovi. It'd been days since he'd said that and she never expressed how much it had hurt.

He shot her a smile and she squinted as she smiled back. That was faker than Jodie Marsh's chest Maria thought. Why doesn't he support me any more? I remember when we first started dating. It was all
"Oh Maria, you're my everything." She suspected he'd got that line from a Barry White song but she never minded. It didn't bother her that he copied poetry from Take That songs and gave it to her on Valentines Day. At least he was being romantic. He showed how much he cared.

"Look Maria" Martain said, pointing towards a petrol station far along the dirt track.
"Mm hmm" Maria hummed, her eyes squinting harder, her smile becoming grimace.
"Fancy a bit to eat?"
"Whatever" she said. She never meant to let him know how unhappy she felt but her emotions forced her into revealing her moods. Martain span round to face Maria, his face like a child who'd just been spanked for stealing sweets.

"What's wrong with you?" Martian asked, startled. She tutted and folded her arms around her waist, better to hide the anger than let it out.
"Nothing" she sang like this was the beginning of an opera ensemble. He stared into her eyes then impatience swept over his astonished face.
"Oh don't tell me then" and with that he turned away sharply and picked up his pace.

Don't tell me? Don't fucking tell me? He just doesn't fucking care about me. We're thinking about travelling the world together and he doesn't care? She let it stew for a while as her wind swept face got redder and redder. Her lips shrank to the size of a small slice of potato and her breathing became desperate and staggered.

Halfway to the petrol station her mouth engaged before her brain could see the warning signs.
"Oh fuck you Martain" he span round, his angered face showing hints of failing passion. Before he could mouth 'what' she'd started screaming.
"Fuck you Martian" she sang in varying octaves. "I've chosen to come on this trip with you and all you ever do is bring me down. You're a joke Martian. Why can't you just support me? Why do you have to bring me down all the time?" Her face was so far forwards her body was almost at a right angle. Her fingers were stretched towards him like dragon's claws and she could feel the blood boiling inside her belly.

"W-w-what's all this about?" Martian stuttered when he got scared. Maria hadn't seen him stutter since the IRS man came calling about his tax returns. Maria had calmed on the surface but this was like a cunning ploy to manipulate his mind further. Stupid man. Her arms folded tightly.
"Look, you don't appreciate me, you never have, I don't know why I ever thought you could do. It's always about you Martian. I don't think I can go on like this." She lowered the finger she'd been involuntarily pointing towards his face. She watched as his eyes conveyed an emotion she didn't recognise. He looked shattered, like someone had whispered 'your mom's dead' into an invisible earpiece.

"Listen" Martian said, his voice softening and low. "I know things are hard out here on the road. Believe me. I find it hard. But-"
"You find it hard? What exactly do you find hard about this trip Martain? I've given up my job in accountancy, I've given up my family. What have you given up? The life of a hippy?" She watched his eyes for signs of life. He hated that word, detested the culture she associated him with.

He started to shake his head till his well fed cheeks wobbled like pink jelly.
"W-well if that's how you feel. Fine. We'll go our own separate ways." He acted like he had all the courage and conviction of a warrior. Maria saw through his amateur dramatics and recognised the little boy underneath. He was turning away but he didn't want to. He wanted her to apologise. That was his game.

She tugged at his jacket sleeve and pulled him back till they were square on at arms length. Her finger pointing at his stunned face she launched into a tirade about how he never appreciated her, how she'd always felt alone and even how he never satisfied her in bed. He looked ill by the time she'd reeled off six things. He leaned closer like a wounded soldier and stared at her with a half smile.

"Well you're just a spoilt little rich kid who never got the love from her daddy." He grinned but his triumph was short lived as Maria's half clenched fist launched itself towards Martain's chin. She clumsily missed and instead thumped his Adam's apple hard. It made a sound like someone clapping inside a shoe box.

He fell backwards onto the dusty earth and started choking. Every bit of anger fled from Maria's body as she came round like she'd been woken up from a bad dream.
"Oh my god Martain, are you all right?" Martain was staring as the little red veins in his eyes became visible. He was sticking out his tongue and clawing at his throat. He couldn't breathe.

She'd been weeping for hours as the police car pulled up alongside her and the now stone cold Martain Banks. She choked on her tears and all she could taste was salt and defeat. Two officers picked her up by her arms and led her fatigued body towards the police car as she sobbed
"I never meant to, I never, Martain!" She stamped her feet on the dirt and shook her whole body violently as another officer checked Martain's body for signs of life. Shaking his head everyone realised, there were none.

Danny Wood is a Liar

2008-08-30T02:57:00.005+01:00

Hi, my name is Danny Wood.

I'm a selfish, inconsiderate liar. I've fabricated stories and allowed people to believe that I'm something I'm not. I don't take people's feelings into consideration when I speak. I'm unreliable and inconsistent. I often bend the truth. I tell people that I'll do things then never do them. I abuse people's trust. I don't smoke or drink but these facts are the vices of my life.

I guess that means I'm honest now. I hope that means I can change.

Thanks for listening.

The Lights Seem Brighter In The Future

2008-08-30T01:30:00.007+01:00

She could have let go any time she wanted. She could have opened her fingers and let the young boy slip down to the ground. She didn't. She pulled him onto the cliff face and his face changed from panic to joy. The wind blew freshly cut grass into the air and she held him close as he wept with relief. The worst was over.

Flowers grew on hill tops and clouds flew past like they were in a hurry to get somewhere. Grass sprouted from the ground like fingers reaching for the heavens. Birds laid eggs, made nests then flew away for a warmer climate.

The sea crashed against the rock face and wore it down till it was a mere pebble of it's former self. Fishes made love and produced schools. Sharks pondered their next meal.

I sat cross legged on the lighthouse balcony staring out at the vast blue space with salty air filling my nostrils. I sighed and shouted out
"Do you hear me?" I laughed out loud. I knew no-one could. I was the solitary watchman alone on this safety beacon.

The seasons passed like laughing children and I pondered my diet and my health. The ocean never changed. It was forever there for me. The gentle caress against it's brethren shore warned me that time was indeed precious. I'd seen the world and it's people. I needed to search inside for answers.

At night I'd start the lamp up and stand on the balcony just watching the dark blue-black waters illuminate under the bright light. What does the future hold for me? Death? Old age? I wasn't afraid. I'd grown to love myself and this humble abode which I'd nicknamed Mother Earth.

In my sixties I'd grown accustomed to smiling into the grey faced wrinkly man that stood before me in my reflection. He was still handsome, still dashing and wise. Was I lonely? I never thought about it. The freedom I'd gained over these watchful years had taught me to let go and realise the freedom that many would kill for.

The air felt somewhat colder on my wrinkled skin and my knees ached if I stood for too long but I was content. I could swear the bulbs grew brighter over time. I breathed hot air from the back of my throat onto my glasses and wrapped my green cardigan around my size thirty waist.

The horn blew loud and clear and I waved at the passing white ship. I couldn't see who was on it. I did know one thing. Whoever sailed past must have been pretty glad that I was here to keep them safe, or at least make them feel safe.

Tempered Heat

2008-08-29T21:21:00.004+01:00

Her eyes are like bullets to my evasive stares. She's the kettle that's always boiling and I'm trying to blow on the lid to stop it from coming off. I tread lightly on the rice paper of her fury. Be quiet for me, please.

I walk across lukewarm floor tiles clutching bed sheets to my waist. They'll protect me. It's forever energy stealing. It's exhaustion in conflict. Wars have been easier. Less blood has been lost in battles. Who am I but the steely eyed determination that was once a pillar of arrogance? Where is my fire and why does every footstep quench the thirst that once propelled me to consume gallons?

I hang in there like Chan Buddhist meditation and the storm passes by while the rain pours. We breathe, both wounded and frail. We're half the presence we were but somehow brought closer. We're allies again. Forgiveness seems less of an anomaly. Hold my hand and let's talk about something other than washing clothes or work fatigue. Allow me to kiss your hand. I miss you, Sweet Heart.

Tell me this pain is in vain and I'll smile and relax. Let me know that this pressure is a futile pursuit and I'll laugh heartily at the birds flying past my murky window. I know this is how things must be. Sorry never did it for anyone. That was a temporary step, an IOU and a promise that good things would come. Only when these packages are delivered in full may I stretch out my arms and be the man I've been aspiring towards for so many years.

I wait patiently.

Missin' You

2008-08-13T02:17:00.006+01:00

He stared across the black room at the horizontal line of orange light that partially lit the room from the bottom of the bedroom door. Maybe Sue is right. Maybe I am a wasteman. Nothing had prepared him for this, being alone in his apartment with nothing but self hate for company. She'd told him a thousand times.
'Clean your act up Mark.' The voice echoed in his head until he wanted to call out
'Stop it Sue.' He was shouting at the darkness, not even woodlice could hear him and help.

Behind the long black curtains the window blew cold air in. mark thought about walking to the window and seeing what life in the city looked like at four in the morning. The hairs on his skinny legs stood on end and shivers crept around his spine like scattered dust. He made himself get up.

The curtains pulled back easily and Mark looked down at the orange street lights. So this is what city life looks like. The pain of losing Sue made him feel the urge to scream.
'Looks like you left me now doesn't it' he laughed, more scared than amused at his own impulsive shouting.

Opening the windows wide he lifted a cold foot onto the dusty window ledge and heaved himself up using the window frame as a hand hold. I wonder what it feels like down there he wondered. Do the people walking down there wonder what it's like to be up here? The vast carpet of orange lights and white ants wandering around in wavy lines seemed hypnotic to Mark.

He stared and the giddiness that filled his rib cage moved him. He looked up to the sky before making an unconscious decision to climb to the outside of the window ledge. The wind hit his back and ruffled his white shorts and vest. The metal work felt rusty and lifeless. Staring between his brown legs he stared downwards to the floor. There's so much freedom out here. Why haven't I done this before?

Mark thought back to the bottle of sleeping pills that lay on the dresser. He remembered taking three but maybe he was a bit liberal. He blinked and blew out as a calm swept over him. What if I let go right now? What would it be like to plummet? The wind blew harder like a warning sign that falling to your death wasn't a good idea.

Maybe Sue would come back and everything would be the same again. Maybe opening the curtains would be a good idea and buying some flowers for the apartment would help. She's got to come back. He knew she wouldn't. If only he'd listened as she explained how much of a loser he was. If only he'd realised he was a loser.
'Suuuuuueeeeeeee' he called, voice aggravated and drawn. He jigged up and down using his knees for springs like an impatient child and laughed like he was whining.

It wasn't enough that she'd slept with his best friend. It wasn't enough for that bitch. She always took things from me, always wanted what I'd got. When I got that job as a security guard Sue wanted some of my wages, when I got that claim for my motorbike accident she wanted hair extensions and fake breasts. She's a fake.
'She's a fucking fake.'

His eyes widened and he knew right there he'd discovered how to move on. Sue didn't apreciate me. She never did. I'm better off without...

His hands slipping from the window ledge as a gust of wind shot past made him realise what a bad idea this was. The wind blew upwards onto his back and he fell bottom heavy. There were seven long seconds before everything went black. It was too late to make things right.

Life Changes

2008-08-09T00:40:00.003+01:00

We never started like that. We chose our own paths and our destiny sprang from that. It was our making.

Certain individuals claim life let them down, life was the cause of the suffering. What's life?

I saw them blame external sources without looking into the mirror or the soul to find answers that would have easily come if they'd have been smarter. That's what makes the realisation of truth so great. That's the quest for enlightenment.

I realised my life was in my hands and I held tightly, knowing that if I let go of this reality I'd plummet like falling bricks and never get back up again. I had to stand firm and gaze forth into this oblivion that is my fate. I can control what happens to me. I can conquer my surroundings and master my destiny.

They didn't know it but they saw that I knew. They just never felt sure as to what I knew. Staring at me they wanted to hate but I showed them love through those calm eyes of mine. They softened like the wind when summer comes and I let them into my way of thinking. They were impressed, almost inspired. I smiled with the joy that I could learn more and help more people. Surely that's to be my goal in life if nothing else.

Peaceful

2008-08-09T00:28:00.002+01:00

For everyone I've ever met,
I forgive you. I love you.
For every hateful word I've said,
I take it all back.

If I've hurt you,
Forgive me.
If I've touched you,
Cherish it.

We've got a long journey to face.

...And I Love You

2008-08-09T00:21:00.000+01:00

I Forgive You...

2008-08-09T00:19:00.000+01:00

Danger is in the Imagination

2008-08-08T01:36:00.003+01:00

My quest for inner peace and enlightenment continues. I'm in the woods and it's one o'clock in the morning. I hear every twitching branch and every distant voice. The police helicopter flies overhead. I'm breathing into my abdomen, channelling energy around my body.

The torch light illuminates gravel and dark green leaves. I'm aware that anyone could be behind these bushes. My eyes are wide and alert and I'm shooting them round at every breath of wind that tickles the cold tree branches.

I've faced my fear and I've got the energy to stay up till six. That's my routine. I stay up and do all the things I didn't have time to do in the day. I'll write for an hour, stretch and make music. Life is simple it would seem.

But where are the challenges?

She's It

2008-08-06T02:59:00.003+01:00

She's all around me. I smell her in my sleep. My tired eyes view hers and I smile even though I feel sleepy and my head is sore. She kisses me on the cheek and I'm grinning like a contented child. She's everything to me and more. I'll be honest. I never dreamed she existed. I never dreamed we'd get this far.

After the rain falls the the sun pokes it's cheerful head out of the reluctant clouds I gaze skyward and think of her. It's only in these moments I realise her true beauty. She's the feeling making me gulp huge lumps of nothing into my throat and the reason I'm blinking with cold water making my vision blurry.

My dreams are always reminiscent of my love though my fears take grasp of this alternate reality and run amuck. It's not enough to want her. I need her close to me like fresh air or flowers in otherwise empty fields. I could breathe her in all day. When she's angry I cherish her. When she's loving it puts a light on somewhere deep inside of me. She knows this because I tell her. I love her so much and nothing can ever challenge or conquer that. Nothing will ever beat that feeling.

You'll Find Out

2008-08-06T02:28:00.003+01:00

There's a darkness in me. There's a sizzling cesspit buried deep within me. Here I keep my hate and my anger. It's only in the most desperate times I let the raving beast within me free. Only chosen people see this foul monster, this withering temperament.

With pupils widening I run forth towards the group of onlookers. I'm tearing out strands of my hair and leaping through the air towards their shuffling steps, their terrified faces.
'Let this be the end of this' I scream and flick out my hands as claws spring from the tips of my fingers like bloody polished daggers.

I open my watery blue eyes and stare upwards at the blue sky. The sun is dazzling. I can barely see it. I stare at my hands. It's the dreams again. I'm so glad they're not real. What would happen if I really did hurt those people?

It dawns on me that the paradise I live in seems vast. I'm skipping along with a big grin on my face and wondering what to do. Maybe I'll make daisy chains and eat butter scones and play in the grass.

I'm skipping through the woods, my blue denim jeans falling down from my waist. I tie the loop of white string to keep them up. Why is there no-one here?

It grips me like a hurricane. The shaking leaves of the quivering bush resemble my own fear as the tall man steps out. He walks towards me as I gasp open mouthed.
'Take this' he says, passing me a single claw. I stare up at him as he chuckles like a friendly giant. 'It seems dreams aren't all poppycock like we'd choose to believe' he tells me.

I'm looking at the claw. As I look up I ask
'What does this me...' He's gone. The trees around me quake and the wind blows my blond hair awry. What does it mean?

Training for a Marathon

2008-08-03T23:47:00.003+01:00

James and I set off on our journey with smiling faces. James rode the racer and I took charge of the road bike. We laughed and joked riding through Endcliff Park. We knew the laughs would soon be over as we hit the hills.

My legs burned and the small of my back ached as we trudged upwards towards the peak of the hill. I didn't know how long the hill was so when James arrived at the top I gleefully shouted
'I'm so relieved, that could have been a mountain for all I knew.'

It was a steady climb into Derbyshire and my whole body felt like it'd been cooked in an oven. We arrived at Higgar Tor and took a photo. Now the fun part was really starting. The ride back was a swift ten minute downhill race. We screamed and shouted all the way down.

Next Sunday we will make it to The Ladybower Damn. It's all great training for the marathon we will run next year.

Accidental Discoveries

2008-08-02T20:23:00.004+01:00

I learned a lot today. I realised that no matter how much you dislike somebody's creative work you should probably keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear that their efforts are being disliked. I learned that forgiveness truly is power. I saw that sometimes you have to step back from something to see the true value of it.

Righteousness is the way forwards when faced with adversity. Maintaining respect towards others in social situations is important if you wish to maintain their respect for you. From feeling angry and frustrated this morning I changed my fate and ended up smiling and happy. I've seen people I haven't see in ages. It was interesting.

I've a strength that I can use. I can speak my mind and find the best way to do it. Today I've been communicating the way I wanted to and saying what I really meant. Other people have surprised me with their views but I respected them.

If you take a liking to me that's great. If you don't like me that's fine. I'm going to follow my path and pursue my goals like it's destiny. I'm through with written rants and indirect comments about people I dislike. The way forward is honesty, positivity and strength. I'll grow into something better, something stronger.

If Life Was a High Fidelity Stereo System I'd be Wearing Headphones

2008-07-19T23:43:00.003+01:00

I've seen mirrors that distort your appearance, make your legs seem long and your body short. I've seen the looks of frustration on the faces of passers by as they wonder why I'm so pissed off. I've seen the sun falling from the sky as the hours pass. I thought of you.

I laid back with a grin on my face, the green grass caressing my naked back. I closed my eyes. There were hundreds of people and they all knew me. I was doing all the things I said I'd do. I'd finally found what I was looking for. Smiling faces laughed as they handed me gifts with neat silk bows around them.

I've seen the future. I've seen the decline of substance abusers and the rise of hard workers. I've witnessed the demise of plans and watched as hopes wither with little intent to back them up. I've seen relationships destruct due to animosity and impatience. It doesn't matter.

I sat next to the golden mirror wondering why I dare not look into my eyes. I want to understand myself but will I like what I find? I tapped my foot and finally frustration moved my legs for me and I rose to my feet. An angry man staring into my pupils made me feel lost and afraid. I softened.

Tilting my head to one side I saw where I'd been failing. My faults and mistakes were laid out like linen on a morning field. I smiled with my mouth and my hazel eyes. My hair's getting long. I laughed out loud and thought of that smiling face. There was a whisper in my heart. It was a voice that spoke clearly but distantly. It said
'Don't let it bother you.'

Danny Wood is a Slacker

2008-07-13T23:28:00.001+01:00