Danny Wood is a Liar

Hi, my name is Danny Wood.

I'm a selfish, inconsiderate liar. I've fabricated stories and allowed people to believe that I'm something I'm not. I don't take people's feelings into consideration when I speak. I'm unreliable and inconsistent. I often bend the truth. I tell people that I'll do things then never do them. I abuse people's trust. I don't smoke or drink but these facts are the vices of my life.

I guess that means I'm honest now. I hope that means I can change.

Thanks for listening.

The Lights Seem Brighter In The Future

She could have let go any time she wanted. She could have opened her fingers and let the young boy slip down to the ground. She didn't. She pulled him onto the cliff face and his face changed from panic to joy. The wind blew freshly cut grass into the air and she held him close as he wept with relief. The worst was over.


Flowers grew on hill tops and clouds flew past like they were in a hurry to get somewhere. Grass sprouted from the ground like fingers reaching for the heavens. Birds laid eggs, made nests then flew away for a warmer climate.

The sea crashed against the rock face and wore it down till it was a mere pebble of it's former self. Fishes made love and produced schools. Sharks pondered their next meal.


I sat cross legged on the lighthouse balcony staring out at the vast blue space with salty air filling my nostrils. I sighed and shouted out
"Do you hear me?" I laughed out loud. I knew no-one could. I was the solitary watchman alone on this safety beacon.

The seasons passed like laughing children and I pondered my diet and my health. The ocean never changed. It was forever there for me. The gentle caress against it's brethren shore warned me that time was indeed precious. I'd seen the world and it's people. I needed to search inside for answers.

At night I'd start the lamp up and stand on the balcony just watching the dark blue-black waters illuminate under the bright light. What does the future hold for me? Death? Old age? I wasn't afraid. I'd grown to love myself and this humble abode which I'd nicknamed Mother Earth.


In my sixties I'd grown accustomed to smiling into the grey faced wrinkly man that stood before me in my reflection. He was still handsome, still dashing and wise. Was I lonely? I never thought about it. The freedom I'd gained over these watchful years had taught me to let go and realise the freedom that many would kill for.

The air felt somewhat colder on my wrinkled skin and my knees ached if I stood for too long but I was content. I could swear the bulbs grew brighter over time. I breathed hot air from the back of my throat onto my glasses and wrapped my green cardigan around my size thirty waist.

The horn blew loud and clear and I waved at the passing white ship. I couldn't see who was on it. I did know one thing. Whoever sailed past must have been pretty glad that I was here to keep them safe, or at least make them feel safe.

Tempered Heat

Her eyes are like bullets to my evasive stares. She's the kettle that's always boiling and I'm trying to blow on the lid to stop it from coming off. I tread lightly on the rice paper of her fury. Be quiet for me, please.

I walk across lukewarm floor tiles clutching bed sheets to my waist. They'll protect me. It's forever energy stealing. It's exhaustion in conflict. Wars have been easier. Less blood has been lost in battles. Who am I but the steely eyed determination that was once a pillar of arrogance? Where is my fire and why does every footstep quench the thirst that once propelled me to consume gallons?

I hang in there like Chan Buddhist meditation and the storm passes by while the rain pours. We breathe, both wounded and frail. We're half the presence we were but somehow brought closer. We're allies again. Forgiveness seems less of an anomaly. Hold my hand and let's talk about something other than washing clothes or work fatigue. Allow me to kiss your hand. I miss you, Sweet Heart.

Tell me this pain is in vain and I'll smile and relax. Let me know that this pressure is a futile pursuit and I'll laugh heartily at the birds flying past my murky window. I know this is how things must be. Sorry never did it for anyone. That was a temporary step, an IOU and a promise that good things would come. Only when these packages are delivered in full may I stretch out my arms and be the man I've been aspiring towards for so many years.

I wait patiently.

Missin' You

He stared across the black room at the horizontal line of orange light that partially lit the room from the bottom of the bedroom door. Maybe Sue is right. Maybe I am a wasteman. Nothing had prepared him for this, being alone in his apartment with nothing but self hate for company. She'd told him a thousand times.
'Clean your act up Mark.' The voice echoed in his head until he wanted to call out
'Stop it Sue.' He was shouting at the darkness, not even woodlice could hear him and help.

Behind the long black curtains the window blew cold air in. mark thought about walking to the window and seeing what life in the city looked like at four in the morning. The hairs on his skinny legs stood on end and shivers crept around his spine like scattered dust. He made himself get up.

The curtains pulled back easily and Mark looked down at the orange street lights. So this is what city life looks like. The pain of losing Sue made him feel the urge to scream.
'Looks like you left me now doesn't it' he laughed, more scared than amused at his own impulsive shouting.

Opening the windows wide he lifted a cold foot onto the dusty window ledge and heaved himself up using the window frame as a hand hold. I wonder what it feels like down there he wondered. Do the people walking down there wonder what it's like to be up here? The vast carpet of orange lights and white ants wandering around in wavy lines seemed hypnotic to Mark.

He stared and the giddiness that filled his rib cage moved him. He looked up to the sky before making an unconscious decision to climb to the outside of the window ledge. The wind hit his back and ruffled his white shorts and vest. The metal work felt rusty and lifeless. Staring between his brown legs he stared downwards to the floor. There's so much freedom out here. Why haven't I done this before?

Mark thought back to the bottle of sleeping pills that lay on the dresser. He remembered taking three but maybe he was a bit liberal. He blinked and blew out as a calm swept over him. What if I let go right now? What would it be like to plummet? The wind blew harder like a warning sign that falling to your death wasn't a good idea.

Maybe Sue would come back and everything would be the same again. Maybe opening the curtains would be a good idea and buying some flowers for the apartment would help. She's got to come back. He knew she wouldn't. If only he'd listened as she explained how much of a loser he was. If only he'd realised he was a loser.
'Suuuuuueeeeeeee' he called, voice aggravated and drawn. He jigged up and down using his knees for springs like an impatient child and laughed like he was whining.

It wasn't enough that she'd slept with his best friend. It wasn't enough for that bitch. She always took things from me, always wanted what I'd got. When I got that job as a security guard Sue wanted some of my wages, when I got that claim for my motorbike accident she wanted hair extensions and fake breasts. She's a fake.
'She's a fucking fake.'

His eyes widened and he knew right there he'd discovered how to move on. Sue didn't apreciate me. She never did. I'm better off without...

His hands slipping from the window ledge as a gust of wind shot past made him realise what a bad idea this was. The wind blew upwards onto his back and he fell bottom heavy. There were seven long seconds before everything went black. It was too late to make things right.

Life Changes

We never started like that. We chose our own paths and our destiny sprang from that. It was our making.

Certain individuals claim life let them down, life was the cause of the suffering. What's life?

I saw them blame external sources without looking into the mirror or the soul to find answers that would have easily come if they'd have been smarter. That's what makes the realisation of truth so great. That's the quest for enlightenment.

I realised my life was in my hands and I held tightly, knowing that if I let go of this reality I'd plummet like falling bricks and never get back up again. I had to stand firm and gaze forth into this oblivion that is my fate. I can control what happens to me. I can conquer my surroundings and master my destiny.

They didn't know it but they saw that I knew. They just never felt sure as to what I knew. Staring at me they wanted to hate but I showed them love through those calm eyes of mine. They softened like the wind when summer comes and I let them into my way of thinking. They were impressed, almost inspired. I smiled with the joy that I could learn more and help more people. Surely that's to be my goal in life if nothing else.

Peaceful

For everyone I've ever met,
I forgive you. I love you.
For every hateful word I've said,
I take it all back.

If I've hurt you,
Forgive me.
If I've touched you,
Cherish it.

We've got a long journey to face.

...And I Love You

I Forgive You...

Danger is in the Imagination

My quest for inner peace and enlightenment continues. I'm in the woods and it's one o'clock in the morning. I hear every twitching branch and every distant voice. The police helicopter flies overhead. I'm breathing into my abdomen, channelling energy around my body.

The torch light illuminates gravel and dark green leaves. I'm aware that anyone could be behind these bushes. My eyes are wide and alert and I'm shooting them round at every breath of wind that tickles the cold tree branches.

I've faced my fear and I've got the energy to stay up till six. That's my routine. I stay up and do all the things I didn't have time to do in the day. I'll write for an hour, stretch and make music. Life is simple it would seem.

But where are the challenges?

She's It

She's all around me. I smell her in my sleep. My tired eyes view hers and I smile even though I feel sleepy and my head is sore. She kisses me on the cheek and I'm grinning like a contented child. She's everything to me and more. I'll be honest. I never dreamed she existed. I never dreamed we'd get this far.

After the rain falls the the sun pokes it's cheerful head out of the reluctant clouds I gaze skyward and think of her. It's only in these moments I realise her true beauty. She's the feeling making me gulp huge lumps of nothing into my throat and the reason I'm blinking with cold water making my vision blurry.

My dreams are always reminiscent of my love though my fears take grasp of this alternate reality and run amuck. It's not enough to want her. I need her close to me like fresh air or flowers in otherwise empty fields. I could breathe her in all day. When she's angry I cherish her. When she's loving it puts a light on somewhere deep inside of me. She knows this because I tell her. I love her so much and nothing can ever challenge or conquer that. Nothing will ever beat that feeling.

You'll Find Out

There's a darkness in me. There's a sizzling cesspit buried deep within me. Here I keep my hate and my anger. It's only in the most desperate times I let the raving beast within me free. Only chosen people see this foul monster, this withering temperament.

With pupils widening I run forth towards the group of onlookers. I'm tearing out strands of my hair and leaping through the air towards their shuffling steps, their terrified faces.
'Let this be the end of this' I scream and flick out my hands as claws spring from the tips of my fingers like bloody polished daggers.


I open my watery blue eyes and stare upwards at the blue sky. The sun is dazzling. I can barely see it. I stare at my hands. It's the dreams again. I'm so glad they're not real. What would happen if I really did hurt those people?

It dawns on me that the paradise I live in seems vast. I'm skipping along with a big grin on my face and wondering what to do. Maybe I'll make daisy chains and eat butter scones and play in the grass.

I'm skipping through the woods, my blue denim jeans falling down from my waist. I tie the loop of white string to keep them up. Why is there no-one here?

It grips me like a hurricane. The shaking leaves of the quivering bush resemble my own fear as the tall man steps out. He walks towards me as I gasp open mouthed.
'Take this' he says, passing me a single claw. I stare up at him as he chuckles like a friendly giant. 'It seems dreams aren't all poppycock like we'd choose to believe' he tells me.

I'm looking at the claw. As I look up I ask
'What does this me...' He's gone. The trees around me quake and the wind blows my blond hair awry. What does it mean?

Training for a Marathon

James and I set off on our journey with smiling faces. James rode the racer and I took charge of the road bike. We laughed and joked riding through Endcliff Park. We knew the laughs would soon be over as we hit the hills.

My legs burned and the small of my back ached as we trudged upwards towards the peak of the hill. I didn't know how long the hill was so when James arrived at the top I gleefully shouted
'I'm so relieved, that could have been a mountain for all I knew.'

It was a steady climb into Derbyshire and my whole body felt like it'd been cooked in an oven. We arrived at Higgar Tor and took a photo. Now the fun part was really starting. The ride back was a swift ten minute downhill race. We screamed and shouted all the way down.

Next Sunday we will make it to The Ladybower Damn. It's all great training for the marathon we will run next year.

Accidental Discoveries

I learned a lot today. I realised that no matter how much you dislike somebody's creative work you should probably keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear that their efforts are being disliked. I learned that forgiveness truly is power. I saw that sometimes you have to step back from something to see the true value of it.

Righteousness is the way forwards when faced with adversity. Maintaining respect towards others in social situations is important if you wish to maintain their respect for you. From feeling angry and frustrated this morning I changed my fate and ended up smiling and happy. I've seen people I haven't see in ages. It was interesting.

I've a strength that I can use. I can speak my mind and find the best way to do it. Today I've been communicating the way I wanted to and saying what I really meant. Other people have surprised me with their views but I respected them.

If you take a liking to me that's great. If you don't like me that's fine. I'm going to follow my path and pursue my goals like it's destiny. I'm through with written rants and indirect comments about people I dislike. The way forward is honesty, positivity and strength. I'll grow into something better, something stronger.