If Life Was a High Fidelity Stereo System I'd be Wearing Headphones

I've seen mirrors that distort your appearance, make your legs seem long and your body short. I've seen the looks of frustration on the faces of passers by as they wonder why I'm so pissed off. I've seen the sun falling from the sky as the hours pass. I thought of you.

I laid back with a grin on my face, the green grass caressing my naked back. I closed my eyes. There were hundreds of people and they all knew me. I was doing all the things I said I'd do. I'd finally found what I was looking for. Smiling faces laughed as they handed me gifts with neat silk bows around them.


I've seen the future. I've seen the decline of substance abusers and the rise of hard workers. I've witnessed the demise of plans and watched as hopes wither with little intent to back them up. I've seen relationships destruct due to animosity and impatience. It doesn't matter.

I sat next to the golden mirror wondering why I dare not look into my eyes. I want to understand myself but will I like what I find? I tapped my foot and finally frustration moved my legs for me and I rose to my feet. An angry man staring into my pupils made me feel lost and afraid. I softened.

Tilting my head to one side I saw where I'd been failing. My faults and mistakes were laid out like linen on a morning field. I smiled with my mouth and my hazel eyes. My hair's getting long. I laughed out loud and thought of that smiling face. There was a whisper in my heart. It was a voice that spoke clearly but distantly. It said
'Don't let it bother you.'

Danny Wood is a Slacker

Rich!

I'm just a desperate man. I'm desperate for the truth and I'm desperate for progression. I don't know if you've heard but I'm rich! I'm loaded. I'm wealthy beyond all boundaries I ever thought I'd pass. I'm staring at my wallet. It's empty.

I've got the wealth of knowledge. I'm not educated or in university but I know what I want out of life and I know where I'm heading right now. I'm rich in character and I'm loaded with the love of the people around me.

It's a delight to learn martial arts and I never thought I'd be able to say this with sincerity but the martial arts have changed my life forever. Life isn't dull. I'm not destroying my health. I'm focusing.

It's all moving ahead. If I die tomorrow I know I've lived a great life. I've got positivity throbbing from my very attitude and it's helping me to see the light. Where will I be in ten years time? Keep watching.

Cracking Under my own Scrutiny

I punched him in the ribs. He was already hurt from the two times I punched him there last week. I'd hit the other guy's arm so hard with my arm a large purple lump formed above the forearm flexor muscles. I knelt down, laughing in hysterics. I screamed with laughter. Rich stood over me and pointed towards the door.
"Go home." I laughed harder. Had I become what I've always hated. Am I a bully?

I joke with her and my flippant attitude gets in the way of our conversations. Does she feel like I don't appreciate her enough? Do I lack in showing her that I care? Am I that insensitive? It's all a wash of confusion and I need the remedy.

I tell people I'll do something then I don't do it. I've been proclaiming that I'll do jobs and perform favours for the people in my life. I'm so inconsistent. People must be amazed at how unreliable I am.

The truth is I gaze into space and something takes over. Something matters more than those responsibilities. I get to thinking and I find myself moving forwards. I'm driven to find something exiting and interesting to do. Before I realise what's happening it's too late to do anything constructive. It's just too late.

The emotion builds up inside me and I dive inside my mind like a tunnel. No-one penetrates this lair. No-one gets close to me. I'm at the base of the tunnel hugging a blanket. I smile and I'm responsive but it's not me. I'm merely a shell of who I want to be. I want to tell you things but something always holds me back. I'm a bundle of inhibitions, afraid I'll be too controversial for your liking. You'll hate me and it'll all be my fault. If only I'd kept my big mouth shut.


I'm walking through the park. Something takes over. I stare at the shining turquoise leaves swaying in the summer afternoon air on the elephantine trees standing taller than friendly giants. My eyes grow wider and I stop walking completely. I breathe in deeply till my chest fills out and my shoulder blades relax. I breathe out and my diaphragm contracts. I put my bag down. I'm breathing deeply, focusing on my guts and my instinct. It'll all be better soon. I can rest easy. There's a remedy I'm always searching for. The truth is I'll have to accept who I am and hope others can accept that too. I'll try and understand myself better. I have to love myself. What am I without love?

Commitment

She moves her head. She's asleep.
"I cherish the day you were born" I whisper into her ear. She's smiling and her eyes open slightly. She peers into my eyes and says
"I love you Daniel Wood."


I'm walking swiftly and I'm smiling. I see my bus approaching the bus stop so I sprint. I've got a lot of energy. She's helping me to feel healthy. We're in love. The greatest thing is the fact we're connected on a deeper level now. I'm really happy about that.


We drove back from Matlock in her car. We gazed around the roadsides for a suitable place to eat. She parked the car behind a bar on Ecclesall Road. We walked in and I marveled at how great the decor looked. The barman looked confused. I had no idea why. I ordered a Pepsi with lemon and she ordered a fruit drink.

She asked me
"When do you think it's a good time to get engaged?" I'm smiling as I explain that a year might be a good time.
"A year?" She gasped. I laughed out loud. She continued to discuss engagement and ask my opinion on it. She become increasingly more serious.
"How are your peas?" I asked.
"They'd be better if I was engaged" she joked. She grinned and we both laughed.

She pretended to get on one knee and my face glowed crimson. She asked me for my phone and I laughed nervously. I'm starting to feel like she's serious. Is she? She took a seat.
"Would you like to marry me?" She asked me. I dropped my fork onto my plate and lifted my arm so the man at the next table couldn't see my eyes. I leaned forwards. My voice was quiet.
"I'd like that, yes"
"You'd like that?" I tried to speak louder but it wasn't working. I laughed nervously. She is serious. I think she's serious. I'm felt shy and embarrassed for the first time since I was a teenager.
"Yes, I'd love to marry you." Her face lit up and she smiled.

Jealousy and Hate

Some people have some serious issues. They're absorbed in their own hate and jealousy. They say things like
"She thinks she's better than everyone else" and
"He thinks he's so good looking." I feel really sorry for people like this. They're obviously very insecure about themselves and suffer from low self esteem and low self confidence. If I could help them I would. If I knew what would make them happy I'd do it. They're so unenlightened and so narrow minded. I wish them all the best in life.

Struggling

Struggle is useful. It teaches me a lot. I've learned more through times of struggle than I ever could being content. I'll give you a few examples.

Through no fault of my own I had a skin rash near my belly button. It was highly contagious. It wasn't a serious medical condition nor was it detrimental to my health. It did mean I couldn't have sexual intercourse. I truly learnt the value in building friendships before relationships in the time I was unable to have sexual intercourse.

I allowed my cash flow to nearly drop to half. I didn't have much money and I had bills to pay and arrears to clear. I realised how much money I'd wasted on every day things. I cut down my spending by half. Instead of eating out I bought food and ate in my home. I started to appreciate the things that I had rather than thinking about the things that I wanted.

I'm a big fan of the internet. I lost my internet connection because I was unwilling to pay the prices of British Telecom. I couldn't access the internet. I tidied my home and organised everything in it. I did lots of training. I realised that I'd been wasting my time by spending hours on social networking sites and instant messengers. I learned that I could have the internet and spend my time doing constructive things. These things would improve my life rather than waste my time.

I'm stronger with each realisation that comes to me. I'm always learning. I learn something every day. I make mistakes but I always try to avoid making the same mistake twice. I appreciate what I've got. I love the environment I'm in. I make the most of my time and the people that are in my life. I think that's the greatest thing struggle has taught me to do.

i sit alone and wonder

Written by Shane Christopher Alexander Rounce
"Shane Christopher Alexander Rounce is an amazing individual and a great friend. He is a prolific and talented writer. He's the designer for DannySheffield.com. You can find Shane at ShaneRounce.com." - Danny Wood


Negative criticism, false accusation, immoral name calling and general infantile behaviour. I hate it.
It NEVER ceases to amaze me how some people think they know just what I need to hear.
Some people need to grow up. If they refuse to, I'll cut all ties with them.
You shouldn't have to put up with negativity. Smiling is the way forward.

Always remember, hold yourself in High Regard. You deserve to appreciate yourself.

Loud and Stupid People

Some people are loud and stupid. They walk by and discuss me in the third person.
"I wish he'd put a shirt on" they say.
"He thinks he's hard just because he does martial arts" they assume. They are loud and they are stupid. I love them. I love them because they're human beings with faults. They are human.

I smile and continue. I glance at them calmly. My love conquers their hate every time. You cannot lose a fight you're not involved in.