Chinese Chi Gung

In Love

He leans in close and whispers
'I cant wait to get you into bed' into her ear. She replies
'Ooo yay.' He kisses her on the lips and lowers his tone,
'I dream of your soft skin against mine, the way it skims over me and gives me shudders.' She's smiling so he continues 'and I long for the hot wave that your breath makes when it moves the tiny hairs at the back of my neck.' Her grin widens, he marvels at her white teeth. She's like
'Your making me horny baby' and she laughs out loud at herself. He looks into her eyes and winks. He tells her
'I cant forget that last smile, the one that lets me know you want me, then its only a matter of time, I know it's a matter of days, maybe hours till we can use our bodies as one.' her face goes red and she looks down to the floor. 'It's the way you look at me when I'm on you like you want me to carry on for ever, it's the faint sense of humour in the way you describe events that happened, it's the way you can take something and make it interesting, this, this is the thing that makes me lust for you more with every waking moment.' She smiles and tilts her head to one side. The corners of her eyes turn up.
'Baby you say the most beautiful things,' he comes straight back with
'When you're describing a beautiful person the words seem to follow like the thunder after the lightening,' she grabs him close
'Awww baby I need u' and he tells her
'I am here for you, my heart is with you, and I cant wait to touch you, feel you, heal you, when I walk through that door and your waiting with a smile I feel emotions I’ve never felt but somehow know, that is why I love you so.' Her eyes become big and shiny,
'I'll be your angel baby and ill be here to take care of your heart always.' Now he's the one grinning and looking away, he shoots her a glance to make sure she's for real, she looks back and maintains eye contact for just a moment too long. His grin widens,
'You are fantastic.'

Video News

I do a lot of traing at the weekends so i will be making a weekly video diary of what I do. The first one will be up shortly. I hope you like it.

Motivation, Meditation.

This is my zone. I'm having a break from people, from anything outside these walls. The melody plays and encourages me to train. I sip Chinese tea from a mug then sit down to meditate.

It seems like if things are eating me up inside all I have to do is turn to kung fu. I can release any negativity through my training. I often feel like a different person when I finish a training session. I walk into the cool night air and my head is clear. I feel the strength to deal with whatever is on my mind.

My eyes are closed as I visualise my chi rising and falling. Each time is rises I pull in my backside muscles and attempt to raise my testicles. They are raising about three centre metres. In two years time they should rise right up into my abdomen. Then I will be a master of the Inhaling Yin Arts. I pass the roll of chopsticks between my palms and stare at the man in the mirror. I focused man stares back at me. I'm not used to looking in the mirror and truly respecting the person staring back.

I fill my lungs up in stages. I think of Master Yap Leong's words when he told us if we practised this brand of chi gung everyday for a year we would be very good. I'm finding it easy now. When you first start your face is going red because you're holding your breath for long periods of time. You keep practising and before you know it you're breathing in really deep breaths and holding them with room for more. I tell myself that it's accumulative and the benefits may not be obvious. I must persevere with it I tell myself. I must practise it daily.

My girlfriend sends me a text message. She's asking me to meet her. I explain that I need an early night because I'm training at nine in the morning. I smile because I know that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Good things come to those who wait.

I squat down into a deep horse stance and hold my breath. I perform the movements of five elements chi gung and stand up, breathing out as I do. My whole body becomes hot. My thigh muscles burn. I'm out of breath. I'm always trying to push my training to the next level, always progressing. You start with five elements chi gung and you find the breathing hard. You adapt to the deep breathing. Next you add visualisations. After the visualisations I'm changing the routine stance from a standing pole to a deep horse stance. It's a lot harder. In standing pole doing eighty or so repetitions is easy. Now four repetitions tires you out. I know that when I adapt to this deep stance I will reach a new level of power and fitness.

I lay down on my bed. I lean over into the recovery position. My eyes close and I relax. I know my alarm will wake me in around eight hours. It’ll be a good day, a great day.

Visualisation

You smile at the tickling sensation at the bottom of your heart. The feeling bounces around and you burst out laughing. You smile at yourself. You sit back with a sigh. Tapping your fingers on the arm of your chair you stare out of the window. You squint at the beaming sun.

You're walking fast. You break into a run crossing the road. Your chest expands and cool air rushes through your nostrils. You can smell freshly cut grass. You sit down and close your eyes.

She smiles and lifts a pink flower to her nose. You smile from the heart at her toothy grin. You lean over to kiss her. She kisses you back with her wet lips. She says
'I love you' in a silky voice.

Your eyes open and you sit up. A drop of rain lands on the tip of your nose. You stand up and look up the sky. Thousands of rain drops are falling down from the clouds. You laugh out loud and turn away from the bench.

The Martial Artist

Respect is the most important trait a martial artist must display. Righteousness is equally as important as respect. When you practise martial arts and you become confident you should try hard to be a friendly person. You should be tolerant.

You don’t meet negativity with negativity. You can't combat hate with hate. This type of thinking creates a battle that no one wins. The way forward is reacting to hate and negativity by not reacting. You've got to figure out what's important, keeping your cool or blowing your top.

The martial artist endures countless exercises that require discipline. When discipline becomes an acceptable thing it will spread to all other aspects of life. You can use your discipline to stop smoking or to show patience when waiting for a bus.

Progression with techniques and forms drills the fact into your head that you can achieve things when you try. You never give up when you really want something just as you push out more press-ups when you are tired.

Knowing that you can defend yourself is a great comfort. Once you are comfortable with your skills your confidence improves. You feel happy because you are less worried about violent assault and things like that.

You grow humble the more you practise. Humility grows with proficiency. You're walking down the street and you look like a happy, friendly person. You should try to avoid arguments and conflict. You should be able to talk your way out of any situation. A martial response is only necessary as self-defence against a physical attack. The skilled martial artist controls violence.

You should always be willing to explain something about martial arts. Listening and learning is very important. You should always aim to be respectful to your teacher, even if you acquire skills greater than the ones they possess. You must appreciate what is being taught to you.

The martial artist walks the street standing tall. It's important to be a good person. There is always someone better out there. Your martial skills are there for you when you need them. You should never go out looking for a reason to use them. You shouldn’t have to brag or show off. Being comfortable with your skills should be validation enough.

From Casual to Committed

You run your fingers across your white belt. You brush your palms down your new karate suit. You stare at the way Scott stands. You think he's always so quiet. He never talks to anyone else. Maybe he's shy. Your mate walks onto the red padded sheets that cover the floor. You say
'Hi' and he smiles and nods at you. You throw a kick and he blocks it playfully. Your teacher walks in front of the class. He's got such a presence you think as you take a place in the line.

You wipe the sweat off your forehead and pretend to do press-ups. Your teacher notices that you aren’t moving and shouts
'Come on, stop slacking, get back to work.' You muster all the strength you have and push out another five. You collapse onto the red sheets. You stand up gasping and out of breath.

Scott's doing fast press ups. He never seems to get tired. He’s so quiet and still he progresses so fast. You take an envious glance at his black belt. I'll be as good as him one day. You grab the skipping rope and start skipping. You're jumping the rope and staring at the clock. You breathe shallowly into your lungs. You shoot a look at yourself in the mirror. A red-faced person with dripping wet hair stares back at you. Is it all really worth it?

Your teacher says 'well done' as you walk out of the room and you smile in surprise. You walk through your front door and drop your keys on the side. You sit down but it's taking you a few seconds because your body hurts so much.

After five years of martial arts I feel great you think. You're standing with your knees slightly bent and your arms out to the sides at shoulder length. You grimace at the pain. If I just breathe and focus on that I’ll make the ten minutes. Rich is shaking as his arms drop to his sides. John is looking around to see how hard other people are finding the exercise. You breathe in deeply. You smile at the pain. I can do this.

You're hitting the pad and everyone looks at you.
'What do you practise then?' john asks, 'your power has definitely improved,' you explain all about the chi exercises that you practise. You’re flying through the air towards your target. It feels great to be getting better. You stare at the punch bag. Your arms twist round your body as you launch a spinning kick at it. The bag falls to the ground, you look with your mouth open at the three straps suspending from a metal bracket.

You switch to the next exercise. I'm getting faster and fitter you tell yourself. I wonder how good I’ll be in another five years.

It's a Way of Life

Search for the Polar Bear

He's biting through a hot sandwich. She walks through the door and a little bell rings like the beginning of a boxing round. He finds it difficult to swallow. He nods his head and clears his throat.
'Hi, how are you?' eye contact is minimal. His eyes dance from the floor to hers and back to the floor again. 'Would you like a drink?'
'No I'm fine, I just had a chewing gum so anything I try will taste nasty.' He clears his throat a second time and shuffles in his seat. He's looking at the pink sausage and the red rashes of bacon. He puts the sandwich onto the plate.
'Do you want half? I can't eat this'
'No, no' she murmurs but he can tell she's trying to be polite.
'Go on have it,' he pushes the plate across the table and she pulls it to her.
'Thanks.'

They walk past the fountains. Water gushes into the air and falls to the ground. They're walking close like a couple. Danny's thinking how lucky he is to keep Charlotte as a friend. He eats the head off his crunchie.
'There's a new gallery open, it's free'
'Okay,' they walk towards the winter gardens.

Danny stops in his tracks, he's pointing to a postcard that stands on display outside the winter gardens gift shop. He points at the baby and mimics it's wide-open mouth. He lets out a loud screaming sound. He laughs at himself for being so silly. Charlotte laughs at him and they carry on walking.

Charlotte sits down next to Danny. Danny senses the magnetism that still lingers between them. Charlotte is looking calmly at the video screen.
'Woo Hoo free movies' she jokes. Danny's like
'Yeah that's the future, free movies.' An old man walks around in a supermarket. The view switches to a first person view of the supermarket. Danny laughs out loud, he jokes with Charlotte 'the music suggests that something sinister is going down in sainsburys.' Charlotte giggles and Danny smiles. 'I don't think it even gets any better, it's just a trolley eye view of sainsburys.' Danny stands up to walk out. The screen changes to a man on a beach. 'Oh just when you think it's gettin' crap, it gets worse', he says as he laughs at himself. There's a man putting a huge umbrella into the ground. He's rocking back and forth to get the umbrella in. 'And this is the umbrella dance, yeah!' Now they are both laughing. The screen changes and the man is holding the umbrella upside down. 'No mate, it won’t go in, it's upside down' he jokes on and they both crack up into laughter. 'Come on lets go' he suggests and they walk out of the white walled room.

'Explain this to me then if you know it all' Charlotte jests. Danny squints and peers at the screen. There’s a circle rolling past a clock and some abstract 3d shapes moving across the screen.
'Oh that's a visual metaphor for the pain of today's youth' she pushes him playfully. He grins and they stand up.

Danny notices a brochure with a picture of a polar bear on the front cover. Charlotte points to the brochure,
'Oh I remember that polar bear, I've been wanting to go to Western Park for ages'
'You mean the museum? Let’s go now' Charlotte looks at Danny with a blank expression. She looks down as Danny looks to her for an answer.
'Well okay, I just need to get my housing benefit sorted, it just means that you'll have to come with me.' Danny smiles at charlotte, he's thinking I'd like nothing more than to spend the afternoon with her. Charlotte runs to a covered area as the rain starts to pour.

Charlotte is telling Danny about how the gates to the western park museum were stolen. Danny's laughing at the idea. They’re walking through the front door. Danny places his hand on the small of Charlotte's back to usher her forward.
'Oh this is great, Danny exclaims, he picks up his pace and leads Charlotte to the first exhibition. 'It’s a shrunken down map of Sheffield city centre, look here's the Hallam University.' Charlotte presses down the buttons that work the lights on the display. She presses them erratically. She's like
'Look it's a rave,' Danny chuckles.

Charlotte says 'okay you're on' and she picks up her first piece. Danny grabs his pieces and admits
'Oh I'm so nervous that you might win.' Charlotte places her last piece in the picture and yells
'Finished.'
'Wait, what sort of jigsaw is this? It isn’t in proportion, look! It’s not even the right pieces,' Charlotte walks off. She's like
'I win' and Danny scowls and stands up to follow her.

Danny’s like
'Stand next to the, tiger while I take a picture of you,' Charlotte plays along. He presses his finger down on the camera button and says 'great.' Charlotte takes a picture of him next to a huge woolly rhinoceros. Danny’s posing with his sleeve up and a huge grin on his face. There's a guy in a blue jumper leaning over a bee's hive. Danny reads the name of the museum on his ID badge. The guy in blue is explaining where the queen bee is. Danny squints but he can't see it.

Danny calls Charlotte over and points to a box full of hats. He picks one out. 'Here wear this, it really suits you,' she's laughing as he picks one out for himself. 'Look over there,' Danny points to a mirror. He pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket and points it at the mirror. This is going on my blog he thinks to himself.

They embrace in a hug. Danny wants to hold on hard but something holds him back. Charlotte's like
'Put some effort into it' and Danny gives into his urges and hugs her hard. He opens the door of the coffee shop. She says
'Thank you' and he follows her in. The rain drops down on the coffee shop roof. A bird sings, dancing on the branch of a tree next to the coffee shop. A different bird flies towards the tree and takes a place next to the first one. The branches sway in the wind. The birds fly into the distance together. The sun comes out.

Our Lion Dance Team at Wong Ting Restaurant Part 1

Our Lion Dance Team at Wong Ting Restaurant Part 2

Wong Ting

You realise that everyone around this table knows some sort of fighting art. The guy sitting next to is talking to you about his martial arts school in Redford. He plays you videos on his phone. You watch and listen keenly. You grip onto anything that takes my mind off the break up.

The food comes like a group of charging bulls. Within a minute the huge round table is covered in Chinese food. You watch everyone else. It's like a Wild West scene. Everyone waits for the first person to dive in. As soon as Jimmy reaches in with his chopsticks everyone's diving headfirst.

You're not hungry but tonight isn’t about the food. Tonight is about the lion dance team. You're really kicking back. A big smile lights up your face. You can focus you attention and it helps take your mind off the break up.

You're looking around the table and there's not a single person you dislike. Everyone here is genuine, they're good people. People smile and it's like a little family. You start to feel at home. You feel the same type of unity you experience at a family meal. People are telling jokes and you can laugh. All your worries are somewhere else.

You drink Chinese tea from cups with no handles. The bowl and the square plates have Wong Ting printed on them, as do the chopsticks. There's this little chopstick stand. You roll through your fingers, trying to listen to what others are saying.

The huge bowls are empty. David bites into a duck's head. Everyone cringes and laughs. He's finishing off everyone’s soup,
'The human dustbin' jokes James. You all laugh. Everyone's posing for a photo. In your mind you imagine writing about this night. The writer block that follows you like a bad disease seems to disapear. It makes you exited to get home.

You walk out into the cool air and breathe into your nostrils. The rain spits at you and you tuck your neck in. The bus stop is empty. You're standing there and the bus rolls around the corner. You step on and sit down. You're yawning every two minutes. You know that now is the time to stay busy. You've got to get home and stay occupied. You'll write. You'll make videos. You'll record songs. Everything will be fine. The rain is in your face as you walk towards your tower block.

love Hurts

I wait for a moment with my fingers hovering over the keys. I'm not sure I want to do this like a base jumper having second thoughts. I decide to take the plunge. I type into the chat box. I tell her she is the best girlfriend I have ever had. I mean every word. I let her know that she's the most beautiful girl I have ever dated, both on the inside and the outside.

There's a lump in my throat and it seems to get bigger as I press enter. It's on the screen and the decision is made. I tell her I only want to be friends. The lump in my throat explodes. There seems to be something trying to fight it's way out of my eyes. It’s like my mind hurts. The feeling eases off as a tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe my face and taste salt in my mouth. I breathe in and out sharply. I sit back with my hands over my gasping mouth.

She tells me she totally understands. More tears make their way down my face. I feel like I'm exited but with sorrow in the place of excitement. My giddy heart beats inside my chest but I can’t feel the palpitations. I have so much to tell her that I find it hard to say anything. You never know how people are reacting on the Internet. She probably doesn’t know that I'm crying my eyes out but I tell her anyway.

I ask her if we can still be friends. She tells me that she will do her best. I've got the same song on repeat and it's the 30th time it's playing. Each word and each note makes my heart dance around inside me. I feel like a great weight is lifting from me. At the same time as feeling relieved I feel a horrible sense of remorse. She keeps telling me how much she understands. A feeling reaches out to me like a severed hand and begs me to take it back.

I know it's too late now. I'm following what my heart tells me to do. To lead her on is selfish. She'll get more attached and it'll be all the more painful when I finish things. The truth is I'm not ready for a relationship. She understands where I'm coming from.

I get to that stage where my breathing is steady and calm. I think the emotional roller coaster is over but it hits me in short waves. My eyes are watery and I blink tears. Now we're telling each other how great our relationship has been. She tells me that I was worth every second. I'm telling her that I’ll always remember her.

A beautiful synergy takes place in my soul. I feel like I'm alone. I feel alone for the first time in ages. I know that sometimes you've just got to dive headfirst into things. If things don’t work out the way you hope it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you try and you keep trying.

We agree to meet up for a drink in a few days. She explains that she'll come and meet me if she can have one last hug. I agree but I tell her it doesn’t have to be the last. She makes a joke about country music and break-ups. I laugh out loud and express this with three simple letters. I log off and climb into bed. I don’t recall what happens between my head dropping down and it hitting the pillow. After that it's all pitch black.

My Block